Change- The Never-Ending Habit
I'm out of town at the MIBE Retreat this Week. While I'm out, enjoy this guest post from another Footers Team Member. This weeks' message is courtesy of Ryan Rodgers, who is our Project Wrangler here at Footers and Social Capitol, opening up about the difficulties of Change.
Life is a journey of never-ending change. Change can be welcomed, can come out of nowhere, be strongly anticipated or completely unwanted. Change can be something you plan for, or something that foils all your plans entirely.
As a creature of habit myself, change tends to be an area of avoidance for me. I seldom try new restaurants unless they are vetted by a trusted source, I don’t watch talked about or hyped-up TV shows unless someone with my taste recommends it, and I need my nightly routine or I spend all night tossing and turning.
However, like any human, there are parts of my life that I wish I could change, but I get stuck on how to go about it. Change can seem like this impossible feat that is meant for someone better than me to do. Sometimes I do not feel worthy of taking on the challenge of change or fear what the change might bring along with it. Sometimes I am worried about the part of me that I will lose in part of change.
What helped me see a clear path was a moment of change that I did not see coming in my late 20s, nor had control of. Finding myself single and living alone for the first time in almost four years put me in a position where I could see my habits (good and bad) that I was holding onto for no real reason other than comfort. This drastic change made my daily routines feel unnatural, some of my creature comforts not as comforting, and shows that I used to enjoy less appealing. Yes, I was experiencing a breakup and working through those emotions, but there was something deeper happening within me: change. Not just change, but the realization that the best way to cope with change is to take advantage of it and change with it.
This revelation has completely transformed my feelings towards change. In my healing, I started diving into the science of change and why it can be so hard for some people. The main reason I found that people like me struggle with it so much is the fear of letting go of a part of yourself. You are literally letting an idea of and within yourself die when you change, and that is a painful process that usually cannot be reversed. While learning that did NOT help me with change at the time, it helped me paint a picture of what I was going through. My former daily routines were guided by my former significant others’ schedule, I didn’t like my past creature comforts anymore because I found those while in the relationship to please my partner, and the shows I used to watch were either a way of getting space from the other in the relationship or to watch alongside her.
Realizing this has completely altered my view on change, what if I just never stop changing and make it a habit? If you want to change, you must create it before it creates you. While my breakup could have left me bitter, resentful, and sad (as it did right in the beginning) I think it opened my eyes to be more loving, more involved, and less shameful of what I want out of life.
Taking advantage of change in your life is what making a positive change in your life looks like. Making a habit of change in your life is what a positive habit looks like.
