Being an Anti-Heroic Leader: A Guest Post
I’m in Vegas this week presenting at Wedding MBA, so please enjoy today’s Leadership Message
from our Pétillant of Parties, Paige Shaffer!
If you're anything like me, you were on the edge of your seat at midnight (or 10:00pm Denver time) on October 21st when Taylor Swift released her tenth studio album, "Midnights." Now, whether you're a T-Swift fan or not, you can't deny that the records this album has already broken are astounding. "Midnights” had a record number 185 million streams on the day of its release. Songs from this album completely took over ALL top 10 spots on the Billboard Hot 100, the first time in the chart's 64 year history that one artist dominated every single top 10 slot. Taylor didn’t release an official single for this album, but it’s no surprise that Track 3, “Anti-Hero,” has quickly become a fan favorite and worked its way up to a huge lead single. You’ve probably heard the catchy chorus all over various social media platforms– “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”
After having this song on repeat for longer than I’d like to admit, the other day I finally paused and thought to myself: “what actually IS an Anti-Hero?” So, naturally, I Googled it. An Anti-Hero is described as a protagonist who lacks all the heroic qualities needed to be a hero (think bravery, nobility, virtue), and can lack a clear interest in following the rules, but an anti-hero is not usually someone who is evil or immoral. The anti-hero can be self-doubting, anxious, and fearful. Their character arc usually follows them overcoming these “weaknesses.” Some classic examples of anti-heroes include Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Michael Scott from The Office, and perhaps the funniest anti-hero of them all, Deadpool.
Taylor Swift posted a video saying that Anti-Hero is one of her most favorite songs that she’s ever written. She says in the video, “This song is a real guided tour throughout all the things that I tend to hate about myself. We all hate things about ourselves, and it's all of those aspects of the things we dislike and like about ourselves that we have to come to terms with if we're going to be this person.” One of my favorite lyrics in the song is “I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror.” She is imploring her listeners to look inward at themselves, which is hard to do. More often than not, people will look outwardly and judge others before looking internally. When something bad happens or when things aren’t going in the direction they want them to, people tend to blame others or the situation, rather than realizing that maybe they’re the problem.
I think the difference between being a great leader versus a good leader is that great leaders are honest with themselves and know their limits. Taylor is a storyteller through and through, and I think this particular story hit home for me because it got me thinking about self-reflection, and how that has affected me as a leader. Really understanding and owning who you are, including all your faults, failures, and even your past negative experiences, can help shape you into an anti-heroic leader.
Author Richard Wilson wrote a book titled “Anti-Hero: The Hidden Revolution in Leadership and Change.” In it, he argues that “the modern challenges we face have changed what we need from our leaders, requiring a shift from Heroic to Anti-Heroic leadership.” Wilson says that Heroic leaders usually lack empathy, are inflexible, and tend to deny the existence of uncertainty. Anti-Heroes are the opposite, they have empathy, humility, self-awareness, flexibility, and an ability to acknowledge uncertainty. Heroic leaders tend to have one leadership style, while anti-heroic leaders constantly adapt their leadership style in order to accomplish what’s in front of them. A great leader doesn’t need to be The World’s Best Boss, or the bravest knight in shining armor with the best hair. Sometimes the best leaders are those of us normal, everyday people who are able to lead with empathy, adapt to uncertainty, and look inward and laugh at ourselves when we realize “I’m the problem, it’s me.”