How Do You Handle Rejection?
Last week I had the opportunity to attend the CEO Forum here in Denver and the keynote speaker was Jamie Kern Lima, founder of IT Cosmetics. Jamie shared her story about how she grew her company from her living room into the largest luxury makeup brand in the country. While the success of selling her business to L’Oréal for $1.2 Billion and becoming the first ever female CEO for one of their brands garners a lot of attention, it’s how she got there that I found so remarkable. Far from what some would think was an overnight success, she struggled mightily early on, heard “no” countless times, and was on the verge of running out of money on multiple occasions. She spent THREE years calling, emailing, and sending her products to anyone and everyone she could find information for at QVC before they finally gave her an opportunity to showcase her makeup on the air. During that segment she sold out of her product and it sparked momentum that transformed her business.
Years ago after reading Danny Meyer’s book, Setting The Table, my friend Anthony Lygizos (current owner of Leven Deli in Denver, CO) wanted the opportunity to work and learn from Union Square Hospitality - one of the top restaurant groups in the country. He started by sending an email offering to work for free, to which they responded, “Sorry we have established a company wide protocol not to accept interns/staging.” He decided to continue sending emails (getting no response), pleading his case as to why they should give him an opportunity. Finally, they responded asking him to “please stop sending emails.” Instead of giving up, Anthony decided to try another method, he began writing handwritten letters, making connections to what they were currently working on. He continued this every day for two and a half months before they finally caved and gave him an opportunity to come work in their restaurants.
Dealing with rejection can be deflating for some and yet for others they see it as motivation. The difference comes down to three things. The first is don’t take it personally. A “no" isn’t an indictment on your character or you as a person. The second is to understand that this may be the universe telling you the timing isn’t right. Seeing it through a different lens gives you perspective and the ability to explore other paths to get what you want and try again. Finally, you must be convicted that what is at stake is something that you truly want. That it’s worth fighting for and going to great lengths to obtain. When those three things are at play, every “no” gets you one step closer to a “yes.”
When most people get rejected, they accept it, and move on with their lives. Very few people will try again a second time and an even smaller percentage have the persistence of Jamie or Anthony to keep going after repeatedly being told “no.” People like them put true meaning into the phrase “Don’t take no for an answer!” When we are clear on what we want in life, we should all aspire to have that level of resolve and resilience. To overcome the critics and naysayers. To navigate the difficult journey of multiple rejections and come out with the satisfaction of knowing you gave it your all.