We are all familiar with the movie and tv depictions of inner conflict. There is the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other arguing over what the subject should do in a precarious situation. The angel typically represents conscience and the devil represents temptation. Their dialogue is the self talk that we all silently hear throughout our days. From small decisions that seem inconsequential, like whether to eat a donut or a piece of fruit for breakfast, to large life changes like quitting your job, our inner voices are always chiming in pulling us in separate directions.

It’s exhausting to listen to this back and forth all day and it wouldn’t take long for you to leave the room if the two voices were actual people bickering for hours on end. So how do we quiet the temptation voice and reduce the noise? I believe it starts with the things we say to ourselves. Peloton instructor, Hanna Corbin, says; “Treat your body like it belongs to someone you love”. Too many times we say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else, much less someone we truly care about. Calling yourself an idiot or being overly harsh over a mistake is not a healthy way to exist. It puts us under duress, leading to a louder argument between those inner voices and reduces our will power. Which in turn leaves us susceptible to making decisions that don’t align with our values and who we are as a person.

On the other hand, if we talk to ourselves like a good friend, the messaging can actually build will power and confidence, making it easier to quiet that temptation voice. Words of encouragement are a start, we need to give ourselves some grace and avoid blaming ourselves for everything. We can build on that by expecting positive outcomes (instead of expecting the worst) and making sure to keep things in perspective. Too often we create worst case scenarios that are far worse than what is most likely to happen. Finally, remember not to make everything black and white. Our fight or flight instincts kick in when we are stressed and it strips us of our ability to be creative because it appears that there are only two options. If you were giving advice to someone else, chances are you would suggest a middle ground and a myriad of other possibilities.

I encouraged our team to examine their lives and make note of when during the day are the dueling voices loudest? When are they struggling with willpower and susceptible to temptation? When do you rationalize a decision that isn’t aligned with your values? What are the messages that you tell yourself during these times? If we can identify these moments and triggers, we can do a better job of preparing for them, sometimes even making a decision before we get into a stress mode. And with a little pep talk and positive reinforcement from yourself beforehand, you might find that the volume and frequency of the devil’s voice starts to fade away.