Can You De-Stress in the Moment?
It’s pretty easy for stress to creep into our days. We have more responsibilities and less time. We are always connected and yet struggling to find connection. It seems we are searching for stability in a world full of uncertainty. And we continue to fight for approval of others, when we what we really need is grace and approval from ourselves.
For me and my team, this has been our reality. There are good days and bad for all of us. I’ve had times where I didn’t show up as my best and needed to be picked up by my co-workers. Times when I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, mad or hurt. Times that quickly turn stress into behaviors that don’t serve me. We all experience these situations but the key is finding a way to avoid a vicious cycle that makes it worse and worse. For me there are two things that I rely on to help lower my heart rate and calm me down, allowing me to make better decisions and be the leader I want to be.
The first is breathing. Having young kids, we’ve gotten really good at encouraging our kids to take a deep breath when they are crying or upset. We tell them to “smell a pretend hot piece of pizza, then cool it off by blowing on it”. After two or three deep breaths, they are usually giggling and have completely forgotten about what seemed to be a travesty 60 seconds ago. Taking our own advice here, when I feel my blood starting to boil, or stress creeping in, I close my eyes, take a few deep breaths and immediately I feel more relaxed. It is amazing how a simple activity can lower both your heart rate and your blood pressure in such a short period of time.
The second thing I rely on is visualization. Over ten years ago, a speaker led a group I was part of through a guided imagery of our “happy place”. He asked us to close our eyes and think about a place that makes us extremely comfortable and content. Then proceeded to ask a number of sensory questions to help ingrain the image in our head. Questions like; What colors do you see? What sounds do you hear? What do you smell? What do you taste? What do you feel? What subtle details can you find? He then suggested that when we feel stress, to take 1-2 minutes, close our eyes and come back to that place. I’ve done this hundreds of times over the years and when I do, I’m always amazed at how it pulls me out of the downward spiral. The more I do it, the quicker I get to that place and it seems to be more clear each time.
Keeping our composure as leaders and staying in the right mindset, despite the challenges that come our way, is critical. Stress is bound to come into our day and we have to develop tools to rise above and fight it off. I encourage you to try these suggestions - see if they help you to avoid the emotional hi-jacking that can take place due to stress. Also think about the other tricks and tools that you use in these situations and share those suggestions with those around you. If we help one another reduce stress, it leads to healthier people and we can create healthier environments.