The Power of the Courtesy Wave
I was driving to work this week - I know it might sound crazy for those of you who haven’t had to do so since March. Traffic began to slow on the highway where construction was taking place, making one less lane available. Cars to my left started to merge, alternating with the cars in my lane. I left some room for a car to come on over in front of me, which they did, but then a second car squeezed into the gap as well and immediately my blood pressure began to rise. Just as I started to express my thoughts with some colorful language to the empty seats in my car, something happened that immediately brought a calm over me. It wasn’t the music, fresh air, or the sunny skies, it was a courtesy wave from the driver who was now in front of me. That small quick raise of the hand, was all it took for me to change my feeling about what had just happened and probably prevented me from giving them a one fingered salute.
I asked myself; “How is it that a simple wave can be so powerful?”. We all have a very strong desire to be acknowledged, respected and recognized. Those feelings are near the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and provide us with a sense of belonging. We also have an uncanny ability to tell ourselves stories about what is going on around us. It’s our brains way of conserving energy. Instead of challenging everything we see, hear or feel, our brain takes short cuts and makes assumptions based on our most recent experiences.
This reminded me of the importance of acknowledging the people around me in positive ways and the fact that it doesn’t necessarily require a ton of effort. Taking time to compliment one person each day is a pretty basic thing, but I’m probably guilty of not making a point to consistently do that. Thanking a co-worker publicly at the end of the meeting can change the trajectory of their day and not cost you a dime. Looking up from your computer to say hello when someone walks by your office, asking them, “How are you?”, and actually listening to the answer will cost a few minutes of your day, but it might be just what that person desperately needed and it will probably change their opinion of how they feel about you.
Small gestures can make a big impact, yet we often put them off because we worry it might not be enough. We tell ourselves that we will make time to do more. To write a letter or call, then we get distracted, busy, and two weeks later we kick ourselves because we still haven’t followed through on what we told ourselves we would do. Let’s change that today and seize the opportunities to acknowledge the people in our lives in simple ways every day. Let’s not underestimate the power of those small gestures and remember: the next time someone lets you merge in traffic, don’t forget to raise your hand and give them that courtesy wave.
*Each week I share a leadership message with our team and we are honored to share it with you via MIBE Tribe. MIBE (the acronym for Make It Better Everyday) Tribe delivers education on heart leadership and intentional culture building for the hospitality industry.