Thank You Mr. Buckner

I’m deeply saddened by what is currently going on within our country.  My heart breaks for the black community and for anyone who has experienced any kind of racism or discrimination in their lives. While I take pride in knowing that I’ve worked hard to get where I am today, I understand that I have not shared many of the struggles and challenges that others have on their respective journeys.  I believe in accepting people for who they are and showing appreciation for those with different backgrounds, skin colors, sexual orientations and belief systems.  I’m thankful it’s something I learned at a young age.

I was fortunate to attend a diverse high school with many black students, coaches, teachers and a black principal, Mr. John Buckner.  He was an incredible leader who genuinely cared about the growth and development of all students.  I remember him being extremely well respected for who he was as a person and not just because of his title. He created a safe environment for all students and gave everyone an opportunity to thrive.  It was no surprise that when I attended his funeral a few years ago, it was standing room only and a number of prominent leaders within the Denver Community where they to pay their respect.  Mr. Buckner was influential in my life and I learned a tremendous amount from him about diversity, inclusion and leadership.  His leadership style embodied what we mean today when we refer to heart leadership.  Many of the lessons I learned from Mr. Buckner can be applied to how we show up as inclusive leaders within our organizations.  Here are two lessons that can help us break down prejudices and combat narrow-minded thinking.

1) TAKE AN INTEREST IN OTHERS

Everyday Mr. Buckner was regularly seen in the halls during passing periods conversing with students, asking about our families, our grades and our extracurricular activities. He took time to get to know the students and as he did, he knew when we needed a pep talk, when we needed to hear the truth and when we needed someone to talk to.  On many occasions instead of sending a student who was in trouble to detention or suspension, he would have a conversation with them and use that talk as a teaching lesson that had a far more positive impact on that student because they felt cared for and understood.  He demonstrated what it meant to show love to students of all ethnicities and backgrounds by simply asking questions and he encouraged us to do that with one another.  He saw potential in every person and because of that he had an uncanny ability to relate to everyone.

2) FIND COMMON GROUND

Mr. Buckner was able to bring people together because of the trust he built with different groups within the school AND his ability to find common ground.  He knew those around him so well that he could highlight where they were similar when there were disagreements.  This allowed for healthy dialogue that usually resulted in the parties having greater understanding of one another.  While they may not have agreed on the topic, they at least treated each other with respect - something he showed to everyone around him.  This was exemplified in his approach toward dress codes.  His policy was much more relaxed than those of other schools.  He listened to the students and understood how important it was for them to express themselves through their clothes.  He also listened to teachers and administrators and heard their concerns about why it was important to have a strict dress code.  At the core, both groups wanted to be comfortable in the learning/teaching environment.  By getting to the root of what was important to both sides and finding some common ground, he was able to help the teachers and students understand each other’s concerns and make a decision that both sides felt good about.

 

Our nation is suffering right now.  I realize that our society has a long way to go to end racism and the social injustices that continue to take place.  I hope the current events inspire us to spend more time getting to know one another instead of trying to tear each other down.  I hope we can find common ground so that we are able share our opinions and disagree respectfully when they are at odds with what someone else believes.  And above all, I hope we can see the best in others and find ways to spread love not hate.

*Each week I share a leadership message with our team and we are honored to share it with you via MIBE Tribe.  MIBE (the acronym for Make IBetter Everyday) Tribe delivers education on heart leadership and intentional culture building for the hospitality industry.

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