A key component to being a great leader is having self-awareness. It allows us to communicate better with others and gives us the confidence to make decisions that are in the best interest of our teams and organizations. Recently, I’ve been pondering my own self-awareness and how that has evolved throughout my career (and life). I found this article by Tasha Eurich very insightful on the topic. The first distinction she makes is between internal self-awareness (how well you know yourself), and external self-awareness (How well you understand how others see you). The importance of balancing these two is critical to being a truly self-aware leader.

What stood out to me was that while one might think that self-awareness is a skill we get better at over time, that is not necessarily the case. As we grow, get promoted, and move up within our companies, we actually become less open to feedback and fewer people are willing to give us candid feedback. I have been thinking about how many times I’ve fallen into this trap and discounted someone’s feedback believing that they don’t have as much “experience” as me. It takes intention and vulnerability to seek honest feedback and truly learn from it. To not get defensive, but rather to say “thank you” for the gift of feedback that we are receiving. We also can’t assume that people will always give it to us. Early in my career, I remember being reluctant to give feedback because I knew it wasn’t going to be received openly, so I would simply keep my mouth shut. I aspire to make sure I’m a leader that welcomes feedback and I hope to be more mindful about that moving forward.

The other big takeaway from the article was the difference between asking “Why?” vs. “What” when evaluating or ruminating over a situation that has taken place. While “Why?” is a very common question when it comes to self-reflection, there are many flaws with it as Eurich points out in the article. Instead, asking “What?” questions helps us to stay objective and helps us as leaders to make progress or change the path we are on. Focusing on “what we can do” vs. “why something is the way it is” shifts us from negativity and a victim mentality to positivity and feelings of empowerment. I love how this small nuanced approach can make such a huge difference when it comes to our ability to understand who we are.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read the article and reflect on your journey as a leader. I also encourage you take some time to assess your own self-awareness and maybe even seek some honest, heartfelt feedback from someone you trust. We are on a continuous journey through life and in the spirit of MIBE, it’s our responsibility as leaders to keep getting a little bit better every day.