Undervalued Relationships
Relationships have had a significant impact on my life. Much of the positivity, good fortune, and success that I have experienced both personally and professionally have been largely in part because of the relationships I’ve had. It is becoming more and more clear that strong relationships are essential. In a 75 year research study at Harvard, they found that strong relationships not only were the key to people being happier, but it also led to them being healthier and having a longer life expectancy. Gallup has found that strong relationships at work lead to higher engagement and performance.
With clear evidence to support investing in strong relationships, it’s hard to not feel guilty about the relationships in our lives that fall below this category. We all have limited time and capacity and I’m the first to admit that we have to be selective about who we choose to invest in with our time, energy and love. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about these relationships, though. The relationships that go beyond an “acquaintance" status but fall short of an invitation to Christmas Dinner or potentially even a backyard BBQ. Someone you consider a friend, but not necessarily a “best” friend.
Many of these relationships have led to awesome things in my life such as significant business deals, introductions to fantastic new team members, and opportunities to participate in programs and serve on boards. As I look back on why, I think it’s because I was able to nurture those relationships in an authentic way. Staying connected periodically without feeling like I always should be doing more. Some people are awesome at this, but in my experience most people gravitate toward the all or nothing approach, having really close friends and then a significant number of acquaintances on the other side that they may call on when needed.
When most people are looking at the people they meet each day in a transactional manner, maybe it’s time to simply invest in the possibility of a relationship that may materialize over time. Instead of using the question; “What can you do for me today?” as a barometer for how much you should invest in that person, maybe it’s time to ask; “How might I help this person?” and not expect anything in return.
There is an African Proverb that states; “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.” We can go further in business and in life when we invest in relationships. Just remember when you’re thinking about who you want to go with, it’s not just about those close friends and family, there may be some undervalued relationships that need some nurturing along the way.
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