Assume Positive Intent
I don’t believe that anyone wakes up in the morning and says to themselves; “I’m going to do a really crappy job at work today” or “I can’t wait to be a jerk to everyone I interact with.” So, if people don’t wake up that way, then why do they end up doing sloppy work or ruffling the feathers of the people around them? I believe that people have good intentions to be their best and throughout the day those intentions get derailed. They get derailed by events that trigger a culmination of pent-up frustration. Or they find themselves in environments that are not supportive and they go into survival mode of fight or flight to preserve their ego and sense of self. All this can lead to mistakes or issues that negatively impact others.
With this in mind, it’s important to consider our reaction to these mishaps when they occur. Human nature causes us to look differently at our own mistakes compared to how we perceive the mistakes of others. When we make a mistake, it is the circumstances that we point to, however when others make a mistake, we tend to overstate their role in that mistake and resort to blame. When we are negatively impacted by the actions (or inaction) of others, we autoreply to the thought that this someone’s fault, they are an idiot, or they were out to sabotage the situation.
In an interview with Fortune magazine, former Chairman and CEO of PepsiCo, Indra Nooyi, was asked what the most important leadership advice she had been given was, she said, “Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent.”
The problem is that when we assume negative intent, it leads us to feel angry and annoyed. We scan for the negative and we often find more of it because we are training our brain what to look for. Contrast that with assuming positive intent, which leads to more patience and understanding. And as we look for the positive, we train our brain see the good in people and the world as a whole.
Honest mistakes are an opportunity to help someone grow. If they didn’t do it on purpose, do they really deserve your wrath of anger for their mistake? Even in cases where the mistakes were a result of negligence and you feel like they “should have known better”, taking time to understand the details may widen your perspective of the situation. There may have been additional factors that you didn’t consider in your initial reaction or cues that will allow you to help the person make a better decision in the future.
Yes, there are times when people get disgruntled or seem to be way off course. And even in these situations, if we consider that somewhere along the way they had positive intent, we can make an educated decision on how to handle it. It may necessitate digging deep into the root of their frustration, not just the surface level that we can observe. Others can’t be their best if we are constantly doubting their abilities. When we assume positive intent and see the best in people, we create a healthier environment and pave a path to reaching untapped potential.