Disclaimer - This post is longer than 2 minutes, but right now with the current state of things I’m guessing you have a few extra minutes…

I don’t know about you, but I’m still trying to adjust to spending my days at home.  Not being able to interact with people in person every day is tough, because I thrive off the energy generated from those face to face conversations.  I’m experiencing wins (exercising more than ever and loving board games with my kids) and losses (letting the day slip away without structure and making way too many trips to the pantry for snacks).  

One thing for sure though, is that this is a perfect time to focus on personal development and a great way to to start is by reading.  I get asked all the time if I have a recommended reading list for business and culture (I do), but as I was cleaning my office and sorting through my books - it sparked an idea to create a different list.  A list of books that have had a positive impact on my life and how they inspired me.  So if you’re looking for a book to jump start your personal development, here’s a list of 12 books that have shaped my life, what my top takeaway was and a favorite line or two from the book.  Enjoy.

The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

An amazing story that energized me to have a childlike mind in believing that possibilities in life are endless.  That anything is possible if you are willing to take risks, not succumb to the doubters and truly believe in yourself.  It caused me to pause and think about the trajectory my life was on and challenged me to think bigger about my potential.

“At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible.  They are not afraid to dream and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives.  But as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend……..And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Shoe Dog - Phil Knight

This memoir has a special place in my heart because the author is a graduate of the University of Oregon, where I also went to school.  I grew up fascinated by how Nike was able to become such a dominant brand and a corner stone of pop culture.  To read what went into building this empire reminded me that the path to success is not linear and has a myriad of twists, turns, highs and lows.  It also was a good reminder that we all have to start somewhere and in order to accomplish something you need to have a tremendous amount of resolve and commitment.

“Fear of failure, I thought, will never be our downfall as a company.  Not that any of us thought we wouldn’t fail; in fact we had every expectation that we would.  But when we did fail, we had faith that we’d do it fast, learn from it and be better for it………..Beating the competition is relatively easy.  Beating yourself is a never-ending commitment.”

It’s Not Just Who You Know - Tommy Spaulding

I love how this book equates relationships to the floors in a building and it made me think about where my relationships would fall and how many penthouse or ‘fifth floor’ relationships I actually have.  We know relationships are important, but Tommy does a great job of illustrating why they are important and how to improve the relationships you have.  It was a great reminder for me that people are at the heart of our business and if we are going to truly value people for more than the job they do, we have to build stronger relationships with them to know who they truly are.

“It’s often tempting, however to sell out to the ‘kissing up’ culture- that all-too-frequent pull to pucker up only with those who can advance our careers because of their influence over things like our salary, our bonus and our job security.  Sincerity know no greater enemy than a ‘kissing up’ culture.  Instead, we need to invest in a ‘loving down’ culture: one that equally values the people who work with us and for us.”

The Power of Moments - Chip and Dan Heath

This book inspired me to think about how to intentionally create meaningful moments in peoples lives.  Moments that will be remembered weeks, months and years later.  Moments that people tell their friends, family and anyone else who will listen.  Being in the service business, it reinforced the importance of creating those moments for our team members and our customers.

“Beware of the soul sucking force of ‘reasonableness.’ Otherwise you risk deflating your peaks.  Speed bumps are reasonable.  Mount Everest is not reasonable.”

The Boys in the Boat - Daniel James Brown

Based on the true story of the 1936 American Crew team and their quest to win a gold medal at the Olympics, this book was hard for me to put down.  I was hooked by the tale of an underdog and the improbable odds this group faced.  It was a great lesson in overcoming adversity and the importance of teamwork and how a group of people from diverse backgrounds can indeed find a way to come together and accomplish something amazing.

“What mattered more than how hard a man rowed was how well everything he did in the boat harmonized with what the other fellows were doing.  And a man couldn’t harmonize with his crewmates unless he opened his heart to them.  He had to care about his crew.”

The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting - Brené Brown

I love Brené Brown’s work and ‘Dare to Lead’ is a fantastic book that I typically recommend.  However, as a parent, this was probably the most helpful parenting book I’ve read and it simplified many of her core principles.  It became very clear to me what shame is and I’ve tried really hard to not use shame in my parenting.  Some days are better than others, but overall it has made a difference for me in my relationship with my kids and who I want to be as a father.

“Have we created a space in our families where our kids know that they belong?  Where there are no prerequisites for worthiness, you don’t have to hustle here for me to believe you’re worth loving.  You don’t have to perform here for me to think that you belong here.  You don’t have to be perfect.  You don’t have to get a certain grade on your test.  You don’t have to hit so many home runs.  You belong here.”

Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert T. Kiyosaki

I was given this book in high school and I still refer to it often and have even begun to share some of the lessons with my young children.  It cemented the importance of accountability for me, the importance of growing my own knowledge, and taught me the difference between assets and liabilities.  I used the principals early on to think about money differently and many still apply to how I live today.

“Stop blaming me, thinking I’m the problem.  If you think I’m the problem, then you have to change me.  If you realize that you’re the problem, then you can change yourself, learn something and grow wiser.  Most people want everyone else in the world to change themselves.  Let me tell you, it’s easier to change yourself than everyone else.”

The Happiness Advantage - Shawn Achor

This is one of my favorite books of all time and I reference it a lot. It peaked my interest into the research that has been done on happiness and the study of positive psychology that surrounds it.  The importance of social relationships, scanning the world for the positive and a daily gratitude practice are all things I’ve incorporated into how I lead our team at Footers Catering.  The idea that most people think happiness comes after success, when in reality happiness is actually the precursor to success was huge for me.  It’s at our core at Footers and Mibe Tribe, that if your team is happy and loving what they do, they will be wildly successful.

“We become more successful when we are happier and more positive.  For example, doctors put in a positive mood before making diagnosis show almost three times more intelligence and creativity than doctors in a neutral state…and they make accurate diagnosis 19 percent faster.  Optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56 percent.  Students primed to feel happy before taking math achievement tests far outperform their neutral peers.  It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best  not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive.”

Non-Violent Communication - Marshall B. Rosenberg

I recommend the abridged audio version of this book.  It opened my eyes to just how bad we are as a society at being able to directly communicate with one another.  When we get upset, it is usually the result of a core need that is not being met.  The ability to communicate that to someone else is really challenging because of the years of habits that we have formed trying to please other people and navigate society. This book provides fantastic tools to help teams communicate more effectively and when done correctly enhances all relationships in your life.

“When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack.  If we wish for a compassionate response from others, it is self-defeating to express our needs by interpreting or diagnosing their behavior.  Instead, the more directly we can connect our feelings to our own needs, the easier it is for others to respond to us compassionately.”

The Dream Manager - Matthew Kelly

When I originally picked up this book, I thought it was about how to be a great manager.  Instead it’s about how to manage the dreams of your team members.  It reinforced our approach to putting our people first and doing what we can to help them be successful.  This also was a good reminder for me to spend time thinking about my own dreams.  

“The passion of dreams is contagious.  This is the passion that our teams need to be injected with.  Get them passionate about their personal dreams and that passion will overflow into your organizational dreams.”

Killing Sacred Cows - Garret Gunderson

I came away from this book understanding the importance of an abundance mindset versus a scarcity mindset and that it is very difficult to achieve success with the latter.  The other big thing that I loved about this book was the importance of challenging norms.  It’s easy to get set in believing something because that’s just how it is, or because that is what everyone says.  It inspired me to be more curious about things that I didn’t have a full understanding of and to ask questions related to things in my life well beyond the financial topics that are discussed in the book.

“To prosper, we must relinquish our grip on selfish and shortsighted desires and serve others.  The paradox is that the less we focus on our desires and the more we help others get what they want, the more we get of what we want.”

You’re Not the Person I Hired! Janet Boydell, Barry Deutsch and Brad Remillard

The single best book I’ve ever read on hiring.  It’s an incredible resource and has been instrumental in how we’ve organized our hiring process at Footers Catering.  It stresses the importance of creating a process and trusting that process when hiring. 

“There is only one way we’ve discovered to make sure your next executive or managerial hire is successful: Tightly define what success will look like before the search begins and focus like a laser beam on verifying that each candidate you see has the demonstrated potential to create that success.”

*Each week I share a leadership message with our team and we are honored to share it with you via MIBE Tribe.  MIBE (the acronym for Make It Better Everyday) Tribe delivers education on heart leadership and intentional culture building for the hospitality industry.