We are all struggling with something right now.  Yes, we are all in this mess together, but our situations are unique.  We are in different places in our lives, we have different needs, and the coronavirus has impacted us in different ways.  Whether your struggle is parenting, caring for loved ones, loss, unemployment, rising debt, anxiety, working from home, loneliness, or simply change - stress begins to build on our personal journeys through those struggles. 

Stress isn’t always a bad thing - it can actually be positive in your life.  It can be the prompt that pushes you to change something that you are unhappy about.  It’s what keeps you from being lazy and unmotivated.  Distress on the other hand is what occurs when the stress is too much and becomes overwhelming.  It feels inescapable, ceases to be a motivator and instead causes anger and paralysis.  So what pushes us from healthy stress to distress?  Most times it’s our feelings and perception of our circumstances that amplify our stress to unhealthy levels.  Feelings of fear, helplessness, disrespect and an exaggerated belief in the harm of potential threats take that positive stress and send us down a path of despair and frustration.  

During these times when I feel myself slipping into distress, I try and resist the urge to compare my situation to others and I remind myself that my situation could always be better and it could always be worse.  When I take a step back and give some perspective, I find that it helps me move back into a healthier level of stress and it motivates me to charge ahead.  There are other ways to do this, as well. According to the American Institute of Stress, they recommend four ways to bring that negative stress back to positive:

1) Focus on the resources you have to meet the challenge (not what you don’t have)

2) See the potential benefits of a situation (how can this make me better?)

3) Remind yourself of your strengths (know you bring value to the world)

4) Have a positive mindset (maintain a level of hope and optimism)

We can also play a role in helping others navigate their stress.  I believe that goes beyond just being there for someone in need.  If we are really all in this together then we need to be patient with one another, even when we disagree.  We need to have compassion for others, even when their beliefs don’t align with ours.  We need to avoid blame and take responsibility for the things we can control.  Let’s remember that we all have different struggles right now and we are all doing the best we can with the cards we have.   When your stress builds up, when your frustration is overflowing, practice bringing your stress back to a healthy state and let’s choose kindness above all.

*Each week I share a leadership message with our team and we are honored to share it with you via MIBE Tribe.  MIBE (the acronym for Make It Better Everyday) Tribe delivers education on heart leadership and intentional culture building for the hospitality industry.